This has no point, and is not profound.

Oh, Writer’s Block.

 

If that’s in fact the proper name for the somewhat-conflicted feeling running through me right now … where part of me feels the urge to update this blog, while the other part of me worries that it won’t be interesting enough, or that I MUST recount each and every second that’s occurred in my life since the last time I posted an entry (including detailed recaps of Christmas and New Year’s Eve) or I’ll lose all my readers (because, of course, everyone who has ever clicked on this blog has been SICK with anticipation wondering about my holiday!).

 

And if I do post an entry: should I include a “profound” anecdote, or do I need to talk about cancer…?  Or will anyone care if I just list all my DVD’s (because sometimes I like to be simplistic that way)?

 

I know …  it’s just a blog, right? Technically, I should be able to write about whatever I want, right? But, STILL!

 

Anyway. The point to all my rambling above, and a big part of why writing is sometimes a struggle for me: it’s not always that I don’t know what to say. It’s more like “will anyone actually give a crapola?” about what I’m saying. Plus that whole bit about worrying whether every sentence “sounds” right, or if it’s too awkward or too flowery or too … whatever.

 

But I’ve decided to give in to tonight’s urge to write … because if I can’t post a frickin’ blog entry because I’m worried it might fail in some way, how am I ever going to finish a book? Just be warned, all four eyes that might actually still be reading this: some entries of “Writin’ Shotgun” — like this one, for example — might contain … well, they might contain a whole lot of nothing! (Sandwiched between a healthy sprinkling of quotation marks and parentheses.) Okay?

 

(Hmm, “a whole lot of nothing”… now I can’t help wondering, is that too much of a cliché? Was it proper to use ellipses before “just be warned” and dashes before “including this one” — or does my NEED to use ellipses and dashes mean that I’m too wordy, or…?)

 

(Just kidding.)

 

(Sort of.)

 

Well, now that THAT’s out of the way. How are you? How was your holiday season? Good, I hope!

 

I definitely had an enjoyable (if a bit chaotic at times) Christmas Day. Now, I know not everybody is a fan of the holidays; I do enjoy them, but I have to admit that Christmas Day is perhaps my least favorite day of the season. I much prefer the weeks leading up to the 25th… particularly the very beginning of the season. At some point, it always just starts to go by so FAST!

This actually bothers me in a way that I’m too fatigued to really go into detail about right now. And it doesn’t just apply to Christmas — although the holiday season is a prime example of something that starts out with such promise and hope and possibility, until life and fatigue set in … which makes me want to stop the clock just long enough to take a nap and get my energy back and my “Christmas spirit” back, because this is CHRISTMAS, dang it, and it’s almost over, and how can I enjoy it if I’m busy with such-and-such not-even-Christmas-related thing, or I’m just too tired (more of a problem for me this time of year)? But next thing you know, it’s the 23rd, then Christmas Eve, then the big day … and suddenly my spirit’s back but now Christmas is almost over, and where does the time go, and WHY DO THE HOLIDAYS ALWAYS GO BY SO FAST? (And, trips, too, for that matter?)

Yeah. If I felt more confident in my ability to write something “profound”, I’d elaborate on wanting to savor every second of every day — especially times like the holidays and other events that revolve around loved ones and “making memories”, and … oh, I dunno. Well, I do know, but I don’t want to go on and on for fear of sounding like an idiot. (How did I even get off on this tangent? Am I even making sense?)

And yes, sometimes I think living with cancer exacerbates these anxieties about how too quickly time passes … plus there’s the fact that I’m rapidly approaching my mid-30’s! But more on that some other time.

Meanwhile, I might as well tell you at least a little more about my holidays! As per usual, the “this go by too fast” feeling kind of took away from Christmas this year … BUT not enough to keep me from enjoying the time with my husband, with his family (on the 22nd and 24th), or with my parents and most of my siblings (lucky Missy was in Germany) on the Day itself.

The only part that was just TOO chaotic was the present-opening (NEVER AGAIN will we open gifts with 20 people milling around in a tiny space … haha, right!) but at least I can look back on it “fondly” now. Heh.

As for New Year’s Eve, I had a pleasant one. Pleasant and low-key, which was fine with me!

New Year’s Eve never was my favorite holiday, but I don’t hate it or anything… and I certainly can’t complain about this one. We didn’t go to any parties or do anything crazy. Instead, Merwyn and I went over to my brother’s in Milton in the late afternoon, and spent a little time with him and my folks, plus Angie, Doug, and my nephews Cooper and Jonah. Afterward, Merwyn and I drove through Fantasy Lights over in Spanaway (which is UTTERLY charming, and which next year I want to do before Christmas!) then came home and carried on our sometimes-tradition of eating chips and dip and watching that ball drop in Times Square. (Only this year, since we no longer have cable as of mid-2011, we had to “listen” to the Times Square festivities on the laptop, while watching a New Year’s countdown clock in another window. I’m not sure why two separate windows were required; you’d have to ask Merwyn about that one.)

Of course, Merwyn and I also kissed at midnight; then he had to go back to consoling poor Daisy — who absolutely LOATHED the fireworks show our neighbors were so kind as to put on, and barked her head off all night long. (Richard, meanwhile, while a little bit scared, took the loud booms and bangs pretty well for a sensitive Siamese.)

We didn’t celebrate New Year’s Day (does anyone? the closest my family ever came was my mom for some reason cooking corned beef and cabbage every January 1st…); however, since it was Sunday, we got to do the Think Tank, specifically a “Best of 2011” show (programmed by yours truly). Later, perhaps inspired by the many cheap DVD’s we scored during the holiday season, and in a rare burst of energy … I decided to re-organize Merwyn’s and my 10 billion-50 trillion-6037 DVD’s, books, and CD’s. Surprisingly, I made a decent amount of progress on this yesterday; but my energy did not return this morning, and now we have paperbacks and other assorted media scattered across half the living room floor. I’m confident I can finish the job, though; the clutter is nothing compared to when we first moved to this house!

That brings me to tonight — and my urge to update this blog. I’m sure the resulting entry has THRILLED you, but here it is: I updated! I wrote! Now I’m that much closer to getting back into the writing habit, and finishing my book, and … and not finding it necessary to turn every other sentence into a list of “and’s”, like I’m doing with this one. (Who cares, though? I’m writing, aren’t I?)

Finally: for succinct,  witty, thought-provoking, sometimes snarky, occasionally downright controversial writing from an author who doesn’t find it necessary to italicize half of his blog entries, I encourage you to visit my husband over at Kalhoun. Seriously, he’s a very talented writer and I’m very proud of him for getting back into blogging himself!

And he can cook! On that note, he just gently placed a steaming bowl of fish stew on a pot holder next to the laptop, so I must say goodbye for now, and go enjoy some white ruffy, butternut squash base, potatoes, carrots and general soupy goodness!

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5 Comments

  1. Awww, shucks.

    1. The WordPress version of Kalhoun hasn’t really gotten started much yet, and the (still existing) Blogspot version ended up being nothing but setlists from our show – the old Rum Death Orgy Show was where all the original writing was.

    2. Write anything – absolutely ANYTHING – that you feel like writing about. If you want to document a day or event, do it. If you want to reminisce about something, do it. Snark on something, do it. Write a list of DVDs or CDs, do it. Fan-Fiction, do it. Lisa and the Angels, do it. If you just want a glorified Facebook Status Update, just do it. People will read – and even if not everything sticks with someone, staying consistent and prolific is the best way to guarantee that people will continue to check this out.

    Reply
  2. dan

     /  01/02/2012

    A good writer can make ANYTHING interesting. you just did.

    love dad

    Reply
  3. What I’ve learned from blogging is keep it short, or at least break it up with pictures—I seldom write less than a thousand words because I post only once or twice a week, and my posts tend to be about my travels or my family, who are “complicated.” Pictures also say what you find hard to put into words, and since I do dabble in photography and drawing, it’s fun to show off some of my work. Also, don’t worry about grammar or literary structure or crap like that. People seem to prefer a conversational style, which is actually harder to master than it looks, but makes it seem like you’re just chatting with them about your day, a trip to the beach, whatever. I think you have that down pat, so I wouldn’t worry so much about your writing if I were you. 😀

    I hope you enjoyed your fish stew! That was a favorite Christmas Eve dish in our family for many years. These days, it’s whatever will feed eight to ten people cheaply!

    Reply
  4. I liked it Tammy…you’ve inspired me to begin my own blog. Now if only I can figure this all out! Keep writing…you’ve got talent for sure.

    Reply
  5. I thought it was great Tammy…keep on writing…you’ve inspired me to begin a blog…hope it goes okay!

    Reply

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